Painful yet Purpose driven

Pain defines purpose. Do you agree? If you had asked me this question a couple years ago, I would have responded with a “Definitely not”. But today, many years later and experiences of failures and successes that I have encountered here in Medical School, I can say I agree.

When one encounters pain they learn something about themselves that they wouldn’t have otherwise known in moments of ease and comfort- as explained in the book The 15 Invaluable laws of Growth by John Maxwell. I believe that Crisis does not create a man it merely exposes what already is.

Pain gives us an opportunity to be resolute in our purpose or to quit all together. I mean who enjoys pain? Unless you are a sadistic person, very few people actually do. However, it’s in moments of pain that you actually ask yourself some hard questions. Is it worth it? I have asked myself this question so many times over the last few years, many times I couldn’t answer in the affirmative. I have chosen to do a medical degree in a different country, different language and I have faced some challenges, encountered failures, cried some tears and wondering is it all worth it to continue?

During those moments I have been led to other questions. What does God want for me? What can I learn during these moments about myself and the character of God? These responses defines and fuels my purpose. I believe that God has a plan for my life, even in moments that I may not understand. I know He holds my tomorrow so I won’t retrieve to what I know is safe or comfortable.

It is important to learn that life is not the way it is supposed to be and that’s the way it is as stated by John Maxwell. Instead of focusing on the few things that cannot be done, focus instead on the many things that can be done. It is important to take responsibility and learn from our experiences in order to grow. Find a healthy way to overcome and deal with pain. Don’t allow life to be defined by pain, Let’s use it to fuel the purpose of our lives.

Do not throw a pity party, it doesn’t matter who shows up. Let’s keep fighting knowing God is on our side. Growth is our responsibility. There are persons with less recourses and more struggles getting it done. What’s our excuse? Instead of saying why is this happening? Say what can I learn here? I trust that our life will be better for it. Pain may be inevitable but living purposefully is a choice. Let’s choose purpose!

“I am because of who we all are” (Ubuntu)

I love the African  philosophy Ubuntu in Zulu. It is a form of humanism which can be expressed in the phrases which means  “I am, because we are” It leads to the reminder that we are all apart of a global community which is one of the building blocks of society.

However, in a world where comparison is the order of the day. It has undoubtedly led to competition among persons. While it can be amiable and advantageous, there is always a “loser”. In collaboration, there is always a level playing field. You are equally mentoring and being mentored.

I think something is always missed. You can never compete with others in this game of life. Everyone has a different skill set. You have a level of uniqueness that others don’t innately have. Even if acquired, will not be at a substantial level that you are and vice versa.

You can inspire others just because you are you! God has hand-picked analytically and intellectually placed propensities’ and desires within you for a reason. Be confident in that. So be assured in what you bring to the table. Show up as your authentic self and be the best you. Find your niche and perfect it.

Then share and uplift others. Find your community. Even if you have to build it. Nurture it and be nurtured by it. The success of others should not only be celebrated but be cultivated. Build others up. Just for them, not because you want to be benefited.

There is strength in community and collaboration. It takes just one person to make a difference but a community can change the world. Remember Success is not lineal. It’s different for everyone. Don’t compare or compete just collaborate.

Vision Board. “Align”

Align in the Cambridge Dictionary is defined as “to put two or more things into a straight line.” It can also be described as “to change something so that it has a correct relationship to something else. (hold this thought)

Over the past number of years, Vision board has become quite popular. There seem to be more persons putting together their vision board at the beginning of the year, or sometimes even during the year.

It is a new decade. 2021. What better time to create a vision board of what you hope your life will encapsulate during the year and beyond. However, before you get started, it is imperative to align your life according to the vision statement of your life. Vision board has to be more than taking random pictures from a magazine and placing them on a large background, just because it all come together “nicely”

Do you have a vision statement for your life? If no, you need to formulate one as soon as possible.

If yes, Are your actions and habits aligned to your vision statement? The answers to these questions are crucial for your growth.

If you want your life to change, you have to change your life. It is as easy and as hard as that. Your thoughts and actions have to be in unity with your vision. Work, effort, discipline and consistency are all key stones in aligning and securing the future you hope for. Your life and who you become is a sequence of actions of what you are doing right now. You have to be today, who you want to become tomorrow. Align!

Remember, God has a wonderful vision board for your life. Seek Him and He will unfold it unto you.

Jeremiah 29:11King James Version

 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

New year New me. “Rebranding”

“New Year New Me” has many times been trashed on the internet. Which is understandable. Persons sometimes make New Year resolutions that many times fail. However, I strongly defend the slogan,as cliché as it is.

The New Year provides us with an abstract and hypothetical beginning. Our minds are almost re-kindled with a new sense of purpose. While this is not true for everyone. Many persons I presume, genuinely try to implement new thought process, new habits. Whether they are consistent or not, that’s another story.

They New year is a perfect time to rebrand yourself. Other opportunities also provides this such as: moving into a new apartment, gives the perfect atmosphere to change your style and form new cleaning habits. Likewise, exercising gives way to eating healthy and meal prepping your food allows you save more money by ordering less take out.

Habits are repeated neurological processes that are repeated everyday. They are influenced by subconscious mechanisms. The Basal Ganglia, situated at the base of the forebrain and the top of the midbrain is associated with habit learning and other functions.

In the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. He Stated three steps of habits: Cue, Routine and Reward. The cue is the trigger that sets the brain in the automatic mode of habit formation and which habit to use. Then a routine is formed, followed by the reward of the habit. Then depending on the reward your brain will decide if the habit is worth saving for future use.

The formation of a habit is very delicate. If the cue is missed, the habit will not follow through. As a result, we need to take advantage of the New year and all the joy and freshness that it brings. So don’t be afraid to join in saying “New year New Me”

Don’t miss the cue to start anew!!

There’s no new, without the old. “New beginnings”

Happy New year!!

I want to take this opportunity to thank you all for being with with me on this journey of Becoming.

2020 came and went. I firmly believe that it was a year that taught us many vital lessons. It taught us the importance of family, relationships, our health and all we have. It taught us never to leave words of love and gratitude unsaid, because we may never get another chance to share them with those who need to hear them the most. During the turmoil and uncertainty, we were advised to stay at home. Maybe this Quarantine served a great purpose, other from the obvious of keeping us safe, it allowed us time to connect with family and friends. Time. Something we didn’t have enough of. We suddenly had in abundance. Hopefully we used it correctly. To reconnect, where it was necessary. To evaluate and to appreciate.

Home for everyone is defined differently. There are many popular quotes that say that home is where the heart is. Home is where wifi connects automatically. Home is where you are loved. During this year, we got the opportunity to define who and what our home is consisted of. This very simple definition is important because the home forms the fabric that weaves and connects our society. Many of us were alone, away from family for an extended period of time. Holidays were different. Birthdays were different. Everything….different. But maybe..just maybe…if viewed in a positive way..can allow for the change that was necessary. May this fuel and strengthen the appreciation we have for each other when we are together again.

It’s only appropriate that we started the decade defining who we want to love, who we want to be loved by. How we want our home to be constructed. then we can truly start to grow as a community at large. Then we can start to heal. To learn hard lessons so we don’t repeat them in the upcoming year. We have to appreciate the old, so we can truly value the new. May this quarantine, bring fourth a new regime of humanity. May we never go back to the way it was.

May we enter this decade with renewed vision. May we appreciate and learn from the old..so we can become. After all, there’s no new..without the old.

Here’s to new beginning’s..2021!!!

Habit vs Intent

So it’s Saturday night and I was in the kitchen thinking about something a very random thought about Habit. I just thought I would bring you along my thought process. I love Routines. I am a creature of habit. My sister always talks about how traditional I am. I love it. I mean if something works, why change it right? When you think about it great habits have been glorified and commended though out the ages.

There have been books written about it. To just name one, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, first published in 1989, is a business and self-help book written by Stephen Covey. There is the famous quote by Aristole, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.” Really great quote. However, some time ago I saw another quote that said, I think it was from Amy Rubin Flett: “Live less out of habit and more out of intent.” (Can you tell I love quotes.)

From that time on I have been between the two. Which is better intent or Habit. In this blog I will kind of give the pros and cons of both. I am not a professional in anyway. I am not giving any form of advice or instruction. I am just developing a Saturday night thought. I don’t have a script, I am not sure I will publish this. We’ll see.

Ok. First off Habits. I love it as I said earlier hence I may be a little bias towards it.

Pros: It makes life really easy. You develop a great morning routine of waking up early, it allows space for you to have a more fulfilling day. You may even start having devotion or meditation. You may even start exercising which leads to you eating healthier..it’s just a ripple effect of goodness.

Cons: The reverse is also true. when you start a bad habit it leads to a domino effect of other bad decisions. You sleep late for example, which may lead to you skipping breakfast. You get hungrier in the day so you eat a lot more fast foods, you put on weight, affects your health and so on and so fourth. A little exaggerated I know, but it’s illustrative, to prove a point.

Another Con about Habit in my opinion is that it may be crippling ..again maybe exaggerated. However, with Habit you can get stuck and although you may have a great pattern and routine. At some point it needs to be updated for true growth to occur and to break a habit, however helpful it may have been before, it can be hard.

While Intent, from my perspective, allows you to view the task you have at hand. To view the end result wanted and to act likewise. Which for me is an amazing pro. It allows room for error and correction. You don’t get stuck doing things without thinking about it. Again however great your habit is. I like to view intent as a smart updated off shoot from habit. It allows room for thought and thinking to be placed in your day to day. So you don’t do things a particular way, you may even not remember why, but O well, I am just used to it.

Wow, I didn’t expect to have such a strong favor towards “Intent” I can’t even think of a Con. Wait I think I have one..Well I don’t really view it as a con..Intent takes work and effort. You have to think and execute. In order to get great results you have to be Intentional in your Intent. Ha!

So yea that’s my Saturday night thought. Thank you for coming along with me. Let me know what you think. Which do you prefer? DO you agree with my thoughts? Let me know. A life with the combination of both, that would be perfect!

How can you become…if you don’t believe that you already are?

You know those words of affirmation that you want to hear ,”I am proud of you!” “You are doing great.” You know you are allowed to say that to yourself right? (Hold on to that thought-you’ll get it at the end)

Have you ever wondered how the certain persons that are so self aware and confident are more likely to become successful. While there are other persons who are unsure of themselves, even though equally or more talented than the self assured persons, they just don’t quite make it. I am convinced that a great cause may be self-esteem.

I know. it’s an over used word, maybe of the past, but it is so relevant today. I used to hear this word a lot when I was younger. How important it is to have a high self esteem, to be confident and to know my worth. But, as I got older I don’t quite hear it anymore. I guess everyone just assumed that I got it all figured out. But have I? Have you? Or we just don’t give it that much thought.

Think about it with me…how can something of little or no value, be valuable? If you do not believe that you have genuine value and that you are worth investing in, it’s absolutely impossible for you to put time and effort in yourself that is needed to grow your potential.

You are created by God fearfully and wonderfully. With a unique gift and talent. You have a responsibility to be your own authentic self. The world needs needs you. How can you become who God intended you to be, if you don’t believe that placed in you are the skills and talent necessary?

How can you become if you don’t believe that you already are?

Four years ago I decided to study Medicine in Argentina. With little knowledge of Spanish I started studying. Very quickly as you can imagine I started to feel inadequate. But throughout my journey I realized I may not be as knowledgeable, but I can be determined, motivated and focused. You are never going to always be the brightest and smartest. Don’t allow that to affect your self-esteem.

You can only achieve as much as you think you can achieve. The law of Lid. Your self esteem put a lid on the potential. No matter the high aspirations you have for your self if you have a low self esteem, you just won’t achieve it. You have to increase your value. The value you place on your self is usually the value other’s place on us but the reverse should not be true. We should not be too concerned about the value others place on us. If you want to become the person God created you to be, you must believe you can.

Again those words you want to hear. Say it to yourself. Increase your value. Only then will you realize how valuable you truly are.

I am not yet…I am becoming.

We are different. We live in different countries. We have different worldviews. Different belief systems. One thing is true, however, is that we are all afraid of falling short. Feeling inadequate.

There is a quote by Sophia Bush which I deeply resonate with, ” You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress simultaneously.” I remember hearing or reading this quote for the first time and thinking, really? Can this be true? Isn’t a masterpiece a finished product and even some finished products wouldn’t be considered a masterpiece.

I am here to tell you, Yes it is possible. I know, this year didn’t go as planned. Many of us were thrown out of our comfort zones. Yes many succeeded in those uncomfortable situations, but others didn’t quite reach the threshold of success. As we approach a new normal in our society. Change in government in some countries, change in policies in others. I want you to know it is ok. It is ok to be uncertain of what is instore. It is ok not to have everything figured out. A lot of what is happening, have taken many of us by surprise. And while we are not yet…we strive to become better able to face the future ahead.

We can rest assured that God has the whole world in His hands and He will continue to guide you onward.

In this same breath, I am in no way saying it is ok to use your situation as an excuse not to be successful. If there are situations in which you can place your time and energy and yield great rewards, why procrastinate and wait? After all true growth takes place in adversity. There are many lessons learnt in the valley that cannot be developed on the mountain top only appreciated. Use this time to garner and cultivate new traits that will only aid you on your journey of becoming. We may not be quite there yet. But let’s continue to become.

Are you doing all you can…with all you’ve got?

Instead of asking.. “What are you getting…you should ask who are you becoming? The dreams and goals that you have envision for yourself, if given to you today.. would you be completely ready to manage it wisely and effectively. The prayers that you are praying.. are you ready to receive the answers? One way in which you can answer in the affirmative to these questions is to ask another question.. analyze your life and ask.. “Am I doing enough with what I have? The only way to know if you ready to receive more, is being a great steward of what you already have.

I have recently moved into a new apartment. As most people are excited to decorate, purchase new appliances and just to have a great new space. But, it got me to thinking. Am I doing all with what I already have? Instead of feeling crappy of not being able to purchase all I want and within the specified time I want, I can use what I already have to make my space functional and comfortable. I’ve always liked the minimalistic view of life. The idea of only having what is completely necessary and funcional, from open tabs on my computer to relationships in my personal life. Necessary and functional.

The truth is that there is so much potential in the things you have already, the knowledge, the skills and talent God has placed in you. Yet. You wait. You acquire more knowledge, more skills and you don’t achieve as much as you should.

What you need is not more ..it is to simply become more, with what you have. Become better at what you have in your home, work, family. Work harder at becoming a better you. Maybe that’s an approach that may be helpful in your pursuit of becoming all God intended you to be.

.

Changes..

I am currently in a period of transition. One that I been praying and planning for, quite sometime. Both mentally and physically. It is a great feeling. However, there is a lingering sadness that creeps with it. The unknown can be a real terrifying place to be. Yet, this uncertainty can also be the pivot point for something greater than I can imagine. It was Margaret Drabble who said, “When nothing is sure, everything is possible “

I recently asked a question on my Instagram page @thechroniclesofbecoming, what would you do, if you weren’t afraid? I ask myself that question, more now than before. It almost seems like now I see endless possibilities. I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and he asked the question, “Why do we seek validation? I think first He asked, If I did, at first I thought no, but with further thought I realized, oh how much I do. Then the question of Why kept lingering in my mind.I have sometimes been classified by my family members as the kind of girl that is very determined. They say I see, I want, I work like hell to get it. I pray to God for it and if He sees fit, He grants it.

Recently though, the first big transition, culture change, language change, I started to question myself, second guess even. It had a dramatic effect on how I view myself and what God had planned for me. I realized that a lot of what I did was in one way or another influenced by someone else. I was indirectly seeking validation from those around me. I haven’t been totally aware, until I was evaluating my “Why” I realized that it is very important to stay true to my vision statement for my life, it will determine the path I take and the quality of my life.

This transition that I am going through allows me to be more confident, knowing that God is leading me and He is not only the Author, but He is the Finisher and He does everything well!

In order to become… part 4

How many of you guys, really wished you would go to sleep and wake up and you would find yourself living your best life?Somehow, you are in the perfect job, with the perfect spouse, perfect kids, everything simply perfect. It doesn’t work that way does it? naah..But Lucky for us though, we get to put in the work. Ha!

As in a previous blog post, I made a distinction between, The average people, who fail backward, and the achieving people who fail forward and what each group represents. These same distinct group of average people, they get a bonus of finding themselves hoping and wishing for Accidental growth. While the achieving people, they find themselves in the winners circle of Intentional growth. The question is where do you want to be? It doesn’t really matter where you are now, because certain guided steps can always be taken to the winners circle. I will guide you through them..ensure you have your blinkers on..( joke referenced from previous blog post)

As Jim Rohn said,
“You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight.” If you want to reach your goals and fulfill your potential, become intentional about personal growth. It will change your life.

The sooner you make the transition to becoming intentional about your personal
growth, the better it will be for you, because growth compounds and accelerates if
you remain intentional about it. Here’s how to make the change.

Accidental growth includes: Plans for tomorrow, Waits for Growth to Come, Learns Only from Mistakes, Depends on Good Luck,Quits Early and Often, Falls into Bad Habits, Talks Big, Plays It Safe, Thinks Like a Victim, Relies on Talent, Stops Learning after graduation

While

Intentional growth includes: Insists on Starting Today,Takes Complete Responsibility to Grow, Often Learns Before Mistakes, Relies on Hard Work, Perseveres Long and Hard, Follows Through, Fights for Good Habits, Takes Risks,Thinks Like a Learner, Relies on Character, Never Stops Growing

Eleanor Roosevelt said,
“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.”

If you want to reach your potential and become the person you were created by God to be you must do much more than just experience life and hope that you learn what you need along the way. You must Intentionally seek growth. In all your seeking, Seek God in Him is life, In Him we will reach our full potential. Growth doesn’t just happens —not for me, not for you, not for anybody. You have to go after it!

In order to become… part 3

Have you ever planned to do something you know was really important, you know it would benefit you exponentially if you actually were consistent….but you wait..you delay..what are you waiting on inspiration…well.. I am sorry to say..you won’t get it. Well at least not here. I am here to tell you..well Nike says it best. Just do it.

Harvard psychologist Jerome Bruner says, “You’re more likely to act yourself
into feeling than feel yourself into action.” So act! Whatever it is you know you
should do, do it

So make a commitment to yourself to start and stick with it for at least twelve months. If you do, you will fall in love with the process, and you will be able to look back at the end of that year and see how far you’ve come.

Then, there you are being consistent, falling in love with the process, only to look over and see someone who has gotten farther, with less resources and time than you put in. Wait what..Then you are comparing and questioning yourself, should I be doing this particular project, career, lifestyle…if..they are better at it than I am, if they are…and I am just.. Don’t do that. Don’t compare. Keep your head on yours and Mind your own. Look over just to compliment and encourage. Yes, collaborate if that’s an option. Never compare. As a child growing up my father always used an analogy to teach me to stay focused. He used to always describe the horse blinkers in the horse racing. This he says, keeps them focused. They aren’t looking to the right or to the left. They are looking straight ahead, because after all, the race is forward.

So far, you have started you are consistent, you are not comparing..but…I thought It would be easier than this. Why is it so hard? Why do I see little result? Growth is not easy, a lot of it occurs in the unseen. I don’t know any successful person who thinks growth comes quickly and climbing to the top is easy. It just doesn’t happen. Your human efforts coupled with God’s enduring might. Your weakness, with His strength. Your ignorance with His never ending wisdom will reap real rewards. Not only on this earth. But in the earth made new. Continue on your process of becoming the best version of yourself. Your eternity depends on it.

In order to become… part 2

What would you do, who would you become, what would you do differently if you weren’t afraid of failure? How do you overcome fear…? Head on. Face it. There are five major fear factors that keep many people from reaching there full growth potential.

Fear of Failure
Fear of Trading Security for the Unknown
Fear of Being Overextended Financially
Fear of What Others Will Say or Think
Fear that Success Will Alienate Peers

Which of those fears most impacts you? This is personal for each person, but there are some key steps that can help us to begin to face your fears.

Soccer player Kyle Rote Jr. remarked, “There is no doubt in my
mind that there are many ways to be a winner, but there is really only one way to be a loser and that is to fail and not look beyond the failure.” How people see failure and deal with it—whether they possess the ability to look beyond it and keep achieving—impacts every aspect of their lives. Yet that ability seems difficult to acquire. Most people don’t know where to start looking to get it.

Everyone experiences failure. Yet how is it that there is a marked difference between how average people deal with failure and how achieving people do?

In the Failing Forward by John Maxwell, He makes a very distinct difference between people who fail forward and people who fail backwards. It seems pretty common sense. But how many times do we fall into self pity after an unsuccessful period in our lives. Go through the following list and determine which areas are your strength and in what areas more work is needed.

Failing Backward:Blaming Others. Repeating the Same-mistakes.Expecting Never to Fail Again.Being Limited by Past Mistakes. Thinking I am failure. Quitting
Failing Forward: Taking Responsibly. Learning from each mistake. Knowing Failure is apart of Progress. Taking New Risk. Believing it is the strategy that failed, Not you. Persevering.
Failure is not final, it’s an event not a death sentence. I had to approach and deal with my fear of failure. Before Medical School, I didn’t fail very much. There were situations and exams I did fail but not very often. In the beginning of Medical school, I struggled to pass the first exam. So much to say, I took it quite a few times. On the fourth try God is good I passed. That event was important for my growth process. I have learned that Growth and learning takes time. Many times after Failing, I had to the same exam again, just couple weeks after. This means I had to get studying again. I had to analyse what I did wrong, how to do it better and move on quickly. Are there times when you really need to take a break? Yes. sure. Take a break. Analyze. Restructure. But persevere. Stay the course. God has planned your entire life. Scheduled it before you were born. In Jeremiah 29:11 He says that He knows the plans that He thinks towards you. Thoughts of peace not of evil to give you an expected end. You aren’t that powerful to wreck His plans for your life with your failures. After-all Failure may be our setback but God’s set up.

In order to become…Part 1

In order to become, you first have to start to be. You first have to ask yourself some real questions. Who am I? Who do I want to be? Who am I meant to be? I am a believer in God. This blog is not in anyway to convert you to my belief, however just a medium of sharing my experiences with you. Who I am and my purpose is found in God. I am a firm believer that He created me for a purpose. It wasn’t just a mere coincidence, that I am here. He has placed gifts and desires within me and when I seek Him, He will guide me on the path of my life as it says in Psalm 32:8 KJV.

God has a plan and it is His greatest desire that you would work with Him to bring His plan for you to a reality. So there are things that …you guessed it. There are things you have to do. When you have found answers to those questions, then you have started your growth journey. This journey involves investing in yourself and making yourself the best you can be.

Let me ask this question? Do you have a growth plan?. It is very good to work hard but that doesn’t guarantee success. People are often times eager to improve their circumstance, but so unwilling to improve themselves. If you focus on goal, you may achieve them but that won’t guarantee growth. However, if you focus on improving your personal growth, you will always hit goals.

When you have found out your purpose and you are convinced that you’re created to live your best life. You have to start being intentional about it. You have to start. There is a law called The Law of Diminishing Intent, which says, “The longer you wait to do something you should do now, the greater the odds that
you will never actually do it.”

You have to start exactly where you are. With exactly the resources that you have. Don’t delay. Procrastination is not efficient. Many people believe that time will somehow make things happen. Sometime in the future, it will all be ok. But, what have you actually done? If you don’t make it happen with your action, then time is not going to make it happen. It just doesn’t work that way. Your effort coupled with the hand of God will bring forth bountiful rewards. You shouldn’t allow temporary situations to form permanent mindset and interrupt your growth process.

Growing can get messy. You start realizing your limitations and your insecurities that you weren’t aware of before. You should not allow your mistakes to get in the way of your growth. Yes you may look foolish, yes others may not understand, but that is what growth is all about.

Your situation or surroundings will never be ideal. There is nothing known as the right time. There will always be reasons to doubt. Everyone aspires for something, hopes and dream to attain maybe better health, an ideal job, to live in a particular country or neighborhood. What if starting exactly where you are and doing even a small thing, such as researching could put you a step closer to achieving your dreams.

It was Les Brown who said, anything worth doing is worth doing poorly until you get it right. Small progress is still moving you along. You just have to keep moving.

In order to become you have to grow.